remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
