Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
