can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
