his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
