Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls

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  (732): my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls http://tfl.nu/3jtt
  Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (2694)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

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  (402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho. http://tfl.nu/a5a8
  Replies (43) Good night (5406) Bad night (1029)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.

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  (+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/njzt
  Replies (18) Good night (5120) Bad night (948)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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  (682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im
  Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (4174)
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  (310): View more from California

  ...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."

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  (310): ...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately." http://tfl.nu/g8d2
  Replies (4) Good night (3650) Bad night (1114)
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  (310): View more from California

  Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!

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  (310): Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type! http://tfl.nu/avo3
  Replies (7) Good night (2627) Bad night (683)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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  (585): you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink.. http://tfl.nu/9bld
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1114)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.

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  (517): First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness. http://tfl.nu/gw3t
  Replies (7) Good night (2791) Bad night (630)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it

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  (201): I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it http://tfl.nu/orze
  Replies (7) Good night (1293) Bad night (989)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.

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  (303): Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass. http://tfl.nu/tyko
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (657)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time

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  (248): How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time http://tfl.nu/txfn
  Replies (7) Good night (679) Bad night (462)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up

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  (910): Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up http://tfl.nu/ud32
  Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (662)
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  (714): View more from California

  He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.

  (1-714): View more from California

  That is my stoner wet dream!

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  (714): He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream. (1-714): That is my stoner wet dream! http://tfl.nu/uw2k
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (319)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  "I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it

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  (540): "I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it http://tfl.nu/ekfu
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (302)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.

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  (727): If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs. http://tfl.nu/plpw
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (278)

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