Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

(617): View more from Massachusetts

We call that spaghetti Os

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(207): I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it (617): We call that spaghetti Os http://tfl.nu/dgrn

Replies (33) Good night (10347) Bad night (1037)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

whose oscar?

(203): View more from Connecticut

the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

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(203): Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone (1-203): whose oscar? (203): the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month. http://tfl.nu/bpyh

Replies (29) Good night (8894) Bad night (862)
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(804): View more from Virginia

They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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(804): They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones. http://tfl.nu/bfce

Replies (18) Good night (1003) Bad night (4423)
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(616): View more from Michigan

thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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(616): thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore. http://tfl.nu/y9tr

Replies (2) Good night (2460) Bad night (671)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.

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(314): Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/y4zk

Replies (8) Good night (2797) Bad night (849)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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(781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg

Replies (21) Good night (798) Bad night (5656)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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(720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi

Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (950)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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(210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j

Replies (7) Good night (1913) Bad night (801)
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(904): View more from Florida

The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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(904): The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party. http://tfl.nu/d07s

Replies (12) Good night (1322) Bad night (561)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.

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(412): I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden. http://tfl.nu/eagc

Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (353)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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(256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44

Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (299)
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(914): View more from New York

So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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(914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga

Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (629)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

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(201): It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned. http://tfl.nu/85cz

Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (267)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.

(740): View more from Ohio

Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.

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(412): It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here. (740): Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English. http://tfl.nu/ruge

Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (293)
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(209): View more from California

Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.

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(209): Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment. http://tfl.nu/2qw0

Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (206)

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