i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..