I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
