Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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