i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
