Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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