but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
