we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
