i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
