Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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