Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
