i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
