Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
