Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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