We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
