I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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