I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
