Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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