So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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