AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
