I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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