"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
