i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
