Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
