Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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