TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
