I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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