that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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