I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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