maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
