Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
