Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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