Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
