Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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