ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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