im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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