Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
