i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
