I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
