she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ttyl tear gas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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