Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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