my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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