Im at strip club and am horny
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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