every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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