I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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