I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
