Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
