their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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