she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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