The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
