I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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