When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
