his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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