just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
