He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize