CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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