New invention idea: vibrating tampons
someone owes me an orgasm
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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