Sry I called you an 8
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
