So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
