thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
ttyl tear gas
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
