We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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