So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
