I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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