One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
