no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
