I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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