so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
