Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my sisters under your porch take her home
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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