So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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