come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
