that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
