Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
