Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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