covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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