There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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