Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
